The first time Renji tried to kiss Rukia was the summer before they entered the Shinigami Academy. He put his hands on her shoulders and pressed his lips, clumsily, against hers. Surprise got him about three seconds, and then Rukia shoved him away, hard enough that he stumbled back and fell on his ass.
"What are you doing?" she said. "Idiot." She was laughing.
"Damn it, Rukia," he said, and what he meant was: Can't you see you're the only good or beautiful thing left in this whole shitty place? What the hell else am I supposed to do?
He stood up, grumbling, but he didn't try to kiss her again--not while they were in Rukongai.
Later, after he'd been first in his class at the Academy three months in a row, he kissed her again. This time she responded eagerly, twining her fingers in his hair and arching up to meet him. He pressed her down, onto the mat; slipped his hand inside her kimono. He was too triumphant to be nervous: she was his, she was his--and if that was only because all these rich kids were too damn stupid to see that she was worth taking from him--well. It didn't much matter in the end; he'd learned from a young age all about getting while the getting was good, and there wasn't any point in ruining something nice by thinking about it too much.
Sometimes it seems they did little else after that--nothing else that mattered, anyway. Quiet moments snatched in whatever small private place they could find, small increments adding up to hours of breathless discovery. Renji would close his eyes and try to memorize her by touch; denying the whole time that it couldn't last, that he'd ever need to rely on memories.
Sometimes, when Captain Kuchiki looks at him, Renji thinks he knows, though his expression gives nothing away. Renji can't tell if he's disapproving, or disinterested; or something else entirely. He tells himself he doesn't care--but, those times, he can't quite meet Byakuya's eyes.
He thinks: this is the man he lost Rukia to. One day, Renji'll make it a contest of equals. Until then, all he can do is keep his head low, and compliment Byakuya, inwardly, on his good taste.
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